Managing Anxiety:

When experiencing anxiety, our minds often imagines grim prospects and scenarios. This is because our protective brains instinctively search for clues and seek out potential threats, leading to a cascade of "what ifs." These thoughts quickly spiral into scary scenarios as we google search down the rabbit hole of the the “what if” path. 

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It's important to remember: indulging in these thoughts do not serve us because no case, no individual and no circumstances are the same. Every case is different. Every family is different. Every courtroom is different and even every judge is different. Dwelling on negativity only exacerbates anxiety. Instead, focus on the positive and block out the negative as much as possible.

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Managing Fear:

Identifying negative thoughts as fear-based and anxiety-driven can shift our focus on exploring proven ways to soothe yourself and slow it all down. One effective approach involves engaging our physical bodies. For example, diaphragmatic breathing can be immensely helpful in returning to the present moment. Inhaling slowly through the nose, holding briefly, and exhaling through the mouth can activate the body's relaxation response.

When anxiety spikes or stress mounts, engaging in physical activities like hiking or exercise can hit the reset button. Even a short nap can realign our focus. Exploring somatic practices for alleviating anxiety can also provide valuable techniques tailored to individual needs.

 

Decision-Making:

During high-conflict divorces, it's beneficial to engage in introspection before taking action. Ask yourself: Am I responding and reacting out of fear, or I making this decision based on genuine belief irrespective of the consequences? Am I deciding from a place of love and self worth or from a place of fear and guilt? Yes, fear will be your companion. However, you need to be very conscious not to make it the driver. The fastest way to break the bond is to acknowledge the fear and act in spite of it anyway. “Yes fear, I see you. I acknowledge you. You will be sitting in my car, as I drive through my journey, but you must remain in the backseat because I am the driver.” Never allow fear to be the driver.

 

Trusting Your Intuition:

Learning to listen to and trust your intuition is invaluable. It serves as a compass, guiding decisions in your and your child's best interests. Distinguish between societal conditioning, which often prioritizes others' needs over our own, and genuine intuition. Your intuition will never ever work against you - it always has your best interest. Explore techniques to strengthen this connection and develop a deeper trust in your inner guidance.

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